Happy New Year!

It's the last day of 2005 and I've gone and caught a sniffle. Feeling under the weather, so tonight's festivities will be lowwww keyyyy.

A friend is coming over tonight and I have a wee bottle of pink champagne, every intention of making Pasatelli Soup and a mixed grill with onions and mushrooms.. and for dessert? Ice cream! I'm planning to watch a movie and make a fire though if the weather stays as balmy and nice as it has done I probably won't.

Now I need a nap, I'm wrecked :-P

If I don't get back online (which I likely won't), Have a Safe & Happy New Year y'all.

Standard Issue for A Road Warrior

100_0277
Originally uploaded by minnaloushe232.

This is, generally speaking, what my desk looked like most days of the year when I was a Road Warrior. Anyway, here's the standard issue from left to right:
Free pad of paper and hotel pen, standard phone with two lines, an extra network cable, Dell Laptop Computer, power, cell phone charging, MP3 player, sunglasses, Platinum Gift (Famous Amos Cookies, whatever! I'm used to chocolates and champagne!!), room key, room key sleeve and a misplaced wallet.

Usually there would be a cup of coffee somewhere here and a section from USA Today. I can guarantee you that's what you would have seen the next morning.

Chicago, Dismantled

I was heartbroken to hear that my beloved Marshall Fields is being renamed "Macy's" and had a pilgrammage there today. Then news hit that Berghoffs is closing as well.

The reason the family cited is completely daft. Rather than close it, why not sell every last living aspect and recipe of it?! Why rob Chicago of a tradition instead of selling it out. Granted, they may not want the family name ruined should new proprietors screw it up..

It genuinely breaks my heart and two major, historical family traditions that go back multiple generations are closing there doors. And the thing that stinks about both of these is that both Marshall Fields and Berghoffs are doing very well.

More on my trip to Chicago and Houston et al forthcoming.

Holiday Hiatus

So much going on in the last few days, so much wonderful things coming up that I can't be arsed getting online and blogging and such.

Hence, a holiday hiatus. Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Joyeux Noel, Frohe Weinachten, Feliz Navidad, Buon Natale..

I'll be back before the New Year.

Peace on Earth!

My First Meme

I've never done this in a blog so here goes...

3 Names You Go By:
1. Lis
2. Cougers
3. Princesss

3 Screennames You Have:
1. Minnaloushe
2. Moondrop
3. Honestly don't have a third

3 Things You Like About Yourself:
1. I'm good in a crisis
2. I always think I can do better
3. Ability to bond with a broad spectrum of personalties

3 Things You Hate/Dislike About Yourself:
1. Talk too much
2. Weight
3. Having unattainable expectations

3 Parts of Your Heritage:
1. German
2. Thai
3. Chinese

3 Things That Scare You:
1. Take off
2. Needles
3. Falling/Heights

3 of Your Everyday Essentials:
1. Email/Internet
2. Coffee
3. Music

3 Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Robe
2. Hair towel
3. Glasses

3 of Your Favorite Bands/Artists (at the moment):
1. U2
2. Snow Patrol
3. Frank Sinatra

3 of Your Favorite Songs at Present:
1. "How To Be Dead", Snow Patrol
2. "Breathing", Emma Bunton
3. "Mofo", U2

3 New Things You Want to Try in the Next 12 Months:
1. Visit Key West
2. Read a book a month
3. Road trip by myself

3 Things You Want in a Relationship (love is a given):
1. Laughter
2. Enthralling conversation
3. Passion

Two Truths and a Lie: Which is the lie? (Guess in the Comments if you want)
1. I wrecked a Mercedes in Florence, Italy
2. I slept an entire night on a sidewalk in NYC
3. I fell off my bike last week

3 Things You Just Can't Do:
1. Dance
2. Shut up
3. Be satisfied

3 of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Traveling
2. Listening to music
3. Watching movies

3 Things You Want to do Really Badly Right Now:
1. Be on a trip somewhere in Europe with all of my friends
2. Buy a house in all my favorite cities
3. Know what the heck I'm doing with my life

3 Careers You're Considering:
1. Chef/Caterer
2. Teacher
3. Meeting Planner

3 Places You Want to Go on Vacation:
1. Masai Mara
2. South Africa
3. Germany

3 Kids Names:
1. Ainsleigh
2. Alarik
3. Irrelevant

3 Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. Travel freely and without compromise
2. Live overseas - ideally managing a charity or volunteer organization overseas
3. Have a family

Morality, Overheard

I overheard a conversation between two women or roughly my age, maybe a tad older. One was counseling the other on whether or not she should date a married man. Her arguments were that she was being used as entertainment, if he really cared about her he'd commit to her and leave the wife, she'll be left alone with nothing at the end of all this, she's wasting her time with this guy because it will all be for nowt and if he'll cheat on his wife he'll cheat on her.

It sort of hit me like a box of rocks - and I wanted to turn around and join this conversation to discuss my hypothesis. The reason women in their thirties date married men is because it's generally not a lot different from the dating scene anyway! You can apply pretty much all those statements in full or in substantial part to the over 25 dating scene. So, from a purely amoral perspective - there's no reason in the world for a single woman in her thirties to not date a married man because odds are the relationship will end up with the same result if not for the same identical reasons.

Of course, had the argument been it's morally wrong, then you'd have me there. I'm certainly not advocating adultery or being a mistress but honestly, girls, you get treated the same irregardless.

In other news, I rawk! I'm presenting all week and today was the first day of presentations to what was billed as a hostile crowd. Even I thought it was going to be hostile. But M, K and I are so freaking gooooooooood that we disarmed and had a fantastic fun meeting. No hostility at all because we had an answer for every possible concern. The little smarmy consultant I don't like was there as well and he was gobsmacked at the ease of which I handled this crowd. Bah ha!

Tomorrow's Predicted Blog Title: "I spoke too soon..."

God Rest Ye Merry

What a weekend but an overall an excellent one. I am facing a really intense week here again but that's probably a good thing.

I had a really good conversation with my girlfriends yesterday about friends who never emotionally open up to you and be vulnerable. The issue is not so much nosiness but it's an issue that you need your friends to be there for you during your own tough and vulnerable times. If your friend isn't willing to be naked (not literally) and vulnerable in front of you in return then you begin to wonder if they don't trust you, or don't care etc. It's sort of the Mutually Assured Destruction glue that holds friends together. They were talking about an estranged girlfriend that used to be part of this group - who is single. All of them are married and I basically described the life of a single girl who is in her thirties - what going home is like. It's not like Sex & The City where there is this fabulous New York apartment loaded with Manolo Blahniks (I'm not even sure if I spelled that right!), a work from home job with a popular NYC newspaper. C got it right away - she understood that a half hour of loneliness at home equals about 8-10 hours of work in its intensity.

The crazy thing is, I was telling them this so they wouldn't be so hard on their estranged friend but be more compassionate to the hell she's living in (there's a lot more to this story than just being home alone at night). But what I found was they all were looking at me and realizing I was sharing my own life, what life is like for me when the friends leave, the family is in another state and everyone goes home to their family and their lives. Even my single friends who are single moms - they envy the quiet that I go home to versus the chaos they go to.

But the thing I think most humans want on some level is to be needed, to be wanted. Even if you go home to 2 screaming teenagers, they are screaming because they wanted you and needed you. There's very little understanding of the deafening silence that comes with the inertia of decades of being single.

As women become more educated, more vital in the workplace, this fragmented identity of What A Woman Should Be will continue to blindside punch women as we marry later and later in life. Society changes, but do our needs?

Last night actually was a great example - I noted sitting there that all the women were clustered in the kitchen talking about work, about the possible solutions to problems, meetings they needed to take. The boys were in the TV room watching some mindless cartoon with the kids. My generation has had a huge role reversal, and it's very unnerving at times.

Fa la la la laa la la la laaaa

Tis the season to be jolly! Tonight is the first of the Christmas parties and I'm furiously..err..merrily baking cookies for tonight. Thankfully I'm not hosting it because I've hosted the last eight or so parties and it will be nice to go to someone else's house. I might even get to learn to play Texas Hold 'Em (or whatever it is) since it's a coed party (hahah, I love saying that when I'm thirties!).

I have many other things to attend to today, not least of all getting some Christmas cards and get the first wave ready - particularly the ones that need to get to the U.K. Busy busy busy!

Also, there's an interesting series coming up on Sundance called Iconoclasts. It's celebrities interviewing celebrities and though this review of it is as cynical as one would expect, I still think it would be interesting - if only for a laff.

Quote of the Day

Akron Ohio:Meeting Yesterday's Challenges Tomorrow

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I just realized I have:

..No Christmas Cards
..No Postage Stamps
..Completely lost my mind where my address book is
..No interest in writing out cards this year
..No good excuse not to send them

In the spirit of giving, I've been drooling over a KitchenAid Artisan mixer of which I cannot afford even though Amazon is basically giving $100 off on them today. And, no, I don't want to give a KitchenAid Artisan Mixer I want to buy one. For meeee.

I've also nibbled on my nails so they can look all scraggly and horrible in time for the holidaze.
Tomorrow is the first Christmas party of the year. I need to getcracking on my hostess gift but I can't be arsed with that either right now.

Sigh, I guess there's no point in continuing. I may as well just go lay in bed and watch movies instead.

Thanks be to the Internet

It's too early to be this ticked off! I have been scouring my house for my copy of Paul Bowles' "The Sheltering Sky" and I cannot locate it. Undoubtedly I loaned it to some no-account and it's forever gone. Grrrrrrrrrr. But thanks to the internet, I found the excerpt I wanted to read so all ended well

Last night I had a dream about one of the consultants that I cannot stand, where he sat at the boardroom table and cried because he said he's misunderstood. In the dream, I started to feel sorry for him. Then I woke up and thought about emailing M, L and K and asking if any of them have a bone saw so we can cut my skull open on Monday and let rats claw my brains out over six or eight weeks. Because I would rather go through that than have a heart to heart with this arrogant baby consultant.

My relationship with consultants and Big Five auditors has been very enlightening this year. Before you tell them that you served in the Big Five..er, I think it's still five(Andersen/Accenture, KPMG/BearingPoint, PWC, Deloitte, Ernst & Young..Yep that's five though technicalyl seven..). Umm, what was I saying? Oh, so you meet an auditor or consultant and you get one of two initial behaviors. One of arrogance (some firms breed that in their staff) or one of "Yes Master, You're The Client." The latter is usually quiet, reserved and personality-less. But when you casually mention that you're from the brotherhood, suddenly there's an entire shift in personality. It's much more casual yet cautious.

It's casual because you 'get' each other and the lifestyle, the pressure and you're on the same playing field more or less because generally speaking, the big firms don't hire socially unacceptable, inarticulate people who are ridiculously stupid. It's sort of the Harvard of the finance and business world if you will. The problem with the ones who show up with a big plate of Arrogance is they have to eat crow (and chickens, ostriches, turkeys and any mockingbirds they can find) when they realize they are talking to a peer.

Yesterday was a great example. I had to spend half the day with an auditor who was the "yes Master" sort until he asked me how long I'd been here and where I came from. So, then he developed a personality and hence a rapport. But, the consultant that I am willing to donate my brains to rats for, he was on the arrogance side. M is a hydbrid of the two. He started off as magnificently boring (where I wouldn't notice if a rat ate my brain) but now is arrogant and cocky to no end. But it doesn't bother me because he deserves to be. He talks to me sometimes in a manner where I'll jokingly say, "Excuse me, I'm the f-ing client!" and he'll just cackle and laugh and say, "Don't be ridiculous, you're still a consultant and you know it."

Oh, have I gotten so dull that I'm blogging about auditors and IT consultants?

A Snowy Evening

For those of you locked up in the snowy north, can I make this peace offering? It schvitz here ALL day yesterday!

Us snowbird northerners/yanks kept looking out the windows yesterday saying, "That looks like SNOW out there!" We had a big low pressure system that had a big cloud of cold flurry like rain with a lot of fog. It wasn't that cold, only in the 60's maybe but the massively high humidity made it feel quite cold.

On weeks like this when you watch the news, you feel like you're right there with the cold and the snow. Snowed in like Bing Crosby in Holiday Inn. I even threw on a turtle neck sweater and jeans. But the fact of the matter is, I turned the heat off and the house cooled off to only 74 degrees so I guess no one will let me commiserate with their winter misery or joy. And I knew it was only a matter of time before this happened at Midway Airport. The runway is seriously short and I presume the plane skidded out onto Cicero Avenue which is seriously busy with lost northsiders bitching about having to fly out of the south side.

Also the news was saturated with the first shooting in the Federal Air Marshal program. Is it any surprise, really, that that would happen on a) an American Airlines flight and b) in Miami? If you had to hedge your bets, that's where I'd put good money. I have nothing against American Airlines, I was top tier status with them for many years and have flown well over hundred or two hundred thousands miles with them in my lifetime. But they have a tendency to treat their best passengers like cargo, so I can't imagine how they treat a Latin couple with bipolar disorder from Maitland..

But, if it had to happen, thankfully it happened in Miami because you'll never catch anyone in America saying, "Well if it can happen in Miami, it can happen anywhere!" It spawned M and I to reminisce about that great film and book, "Big Trouble" by Dave Barry. We argued over the way one scene went and discovered we were both right. They are the same book-end scene in which Dennis Farina (who I think is hilarious in his own way) and his co-thug drop a golf bag in front of a cop at Miami Airport and a few automatic rifles spill out along with golf clubs. In the first scene, Dennis Farina says matter of factly to the cop, "We play with a guy who cheats." In the corresponding scene, the same thing happens but the cop takes the rifle and blankly unloads it and hands the rifle back to Dennis Farina who in turn says, "Miami stinks but I have to say the cops are quite nice."

Yeah, you have to see the movie I guess to appreciate the humor of it...

Ohana

Twenty one years ago today I was at Ground Zero in my life and began the journey that led me to where I am, who I am today.

I find I am at a loss for my own words, humbled and overwhelmed by the very circumstances that I live with every day. My identity, my soul, my presence, my spirit, my smile, my tears, my strength and my fears are all that of a Motherless Daughter.

* * *
Lookin' for to save my, save my soul
Lookin' in the places where no flowers grow.
Lookin' for to fill that God-shaped hole

Mother, mother-suckin' rock an'roll.
Holy dunc, space junk comin' in for the splash
White dopes on punk staring into the flash.
Lookin' for the baby Jesus under the trash
Mother, mother-suckin' rock an' roll.

Mother.
Mother, am I still your son?
You know I've waited for so long
To hear you say so.
Mother, you left and made me someone.
Now I'm still a child, but no one tells me no.

Lookin' for a sound that's gonna drown out the world.
Lookin' for the father of my two little girls.
Got the swing, got the sway, got my straw in lemonade.
Still lookin' for the face I had before the world was made.

Mother, mother-suckin' rock an' roll
Soothe me, mother
Rule me, father
Move me, brother
Woo me, sister.
Soothe me, mother
Rule me, father
Show me, mother
Show me, mother.
Show me, mother
Show me, mother
Show me, mother

-Mofo, Lyrics: Bono

Mind The Gap

OMG, there's this hilarious website that logs what is overheard on the London underground, with classic quotes that make you laugh utterly outloud. This is my favourite:

• Of course it's not Halal. It's a fucking pork chop.

:"-D I can just hear that on the Tube. Ahh, I miss London! Here are a few more gems:

• I think you'll find that everything you've ever done is overrated and rubbish and you're going to die in a piss-filled ditch.
• Indian people always eat Indian food and they don't explode.
• I'm not posh, I've just had a decent education.
• Poor little Caleb. He keeps falling into holes. Very accident prone.
• Mummy, if there was a crash and I rescued you, would you say thank you?
• I don't want to hear another sob story about a man with no head.
• Queensway is closed. It's not terrorists... they are re-painting it.
• I heard your fart on the stairs. I bet it launched you up them.

And in other British curiousities...this is what I call keeping a stiff upper lip:

(from Wikipedia's entry on the London Underground)

The London Underground has an excellent passenger safety record. Suicides are nonetheless common, at roughly one successful attempt per week across the network, though it is estimated that there are three attempts for each fatality. To help prevent death, most deep tube stations have pits between the tracks at platforms; known as a 'suicide pit', their purpose is to let a body fall safely under the tracks and away from the path of an oncoming train. They were not part of the original construction, and had to be dug out later when the suicide problem became apparent. Delays resulting from a person jumping in front of the train as it pulls into a station are announced as "passenger action" or "a person under a train", but are referred to by staff as a "one under".

Unfortunately, during my tenure in London, I have to testify that the frequent suicide attempts seem to be largely true, though I'm surprised by their assertion that they are weekly. But I had no idea about the pits. The most gruesome thing I recall hearing happening in the Tube was a teenage boy who had been missing for quite some time. They found his beaten body in a air shaft in I think the posh Knightsbridge station.

Ok this is a morbid post.

Sliding Doors

I was feeling pensive on my drive home tonight thinking about a few things. So I came home and corked a bottle of Bordeaux and fixed myself a plate of Coq au Vin (I have a fab fix-it-in-fifteen recipe). Of course, I had to come home and work for awhile (but at least I was at home!) which disrupted the entire Francais vibe I had going on but I have now resumed that state of mind.

So I was thinking about a quote or lyric that goes something along the lines of how a small mistake can lead to a big problem. It made me think also of a movie that I absolutely love called Sliding Doors. Essentially, it's a movie about how one woman's life can be completely different entirely based on whether or not she makes it through the sliding doors of a London underground train. In one scenario, her life is devasted quickly and she makes her life better. In another scenario, her life grinds and falls apart slowly but avoids the tragedy the other life leads her to. The thing I love about the movie and the moral of the story, if you will is, it shows you that you will wind up wherever you're supposed to be. Fate is fate, and the journey is the only difference.

Sometimes I beat myself up over stupid things I say or do. I literally flog myself when I make choices against my better judgement (Remember Oprah's mantra: Doubt Means Don't). Recently I made some choices and decisions that went against my intuition and now I'm stuck in a situation I hate. In some respects, the Sliding Doors principle has already come to fruition - no matter if I listened to my doubts or not, I'd still be where I am now. But the Sliding Doors Principle is distinctly unfinished because there's yet another layer of unfinished business that depending on a small choice I will be making in the near future will determine if I get to the final result the hard way or the easy way.

As the cliche goes, I hope I have the wisdom to choose wisely.

Priceless :"-D

This article cracks me up:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43192

The best "quote" from the article, Mullen added, "You don't win 14 Grammies feeding Africans."

Ork Ork!

Sometimes when you're not feeling the best you can feel, going to work can be a real downer and drag. But sometimes it can be a real laff. Today was such a day.

My consultant, M, is a very, very funny guy. He reminds me a lot of Jon Stewart actually. Conversely, our project manager is very much a man's man but also has a very healthy sense of humor. So, yesterday M and I were talking about the new gay cowboy movie, "Brokeback Mountain" and then I had to call R, our project manager, about something. He wasn't there so I hung up. When he called back, I had this wicked idea to answer the phone and say, "Hey, M wants to know if you'll go see Brokeback Mountain with him.." But, when I answered the phone, M interupted me and shouted, "Hey, R, do you want to go see Brokeback Mountain with me?" R laughed and said "Yeah, sure, do you want me to wear my cowboy hat and jeans.." I got really mad because M stole my thunder and I kept yelling, "HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS GOING TO DO THAT?!" and M told me how predictable I am and he could just tell I what I was up to.

So our status meeting came around today and M announced that there should be a team outing of just the men to go see this movie. The jokes flew on and on. Then we had an official meeting later on in the day, and M was presenting and demoing the application on the projection screen for the small audience. He left the room for a few minutes, so I ran up and changed his Windows Explorer setting to reset his homepage to the Brokeback Mountain website. It was absolutely ace, so when he brought up the net to do a demo, that's what it defaulted to. It was a hit with everyone in the meeting and I absolutely got back at him for stealing my thunder.

Ahem..guess you had to be there, but it was pretty funny - I literally laughed through the day.

And, at least I'm getting home at decent hours this week!!

Tellin The Truth Can Be Dangerous Business

The project I'm assigned to at work has been extended now until June 1st - through no fault or direct hand of myself or my team. This has been a big blow to us though because we signed up to do this through February and now we're just further and further away from Our Big Day.
June 1st is just the big day, we actually have post-production support responsibilities probably about 90 days after that. Boo.

The thing that's really remarkable is how these dates are passed over to us like we shouldn't mind. Despite the fact that there are marriages that are in trouble right now because of the schedule up to this point and this project is only nine months old, they don't realize the personal toll this date push places on us.

Granted, I have less to lose being unmarried and without children. But their assumption is that I'd rather be working on this project than anything else because it's good for my career. Bollocks to that! My career is not the priority in my life - I'm not trying to make the next level promotion, I don't care if I'm a Vice President by the time I'm 35, I don't care to have lunches with the C-level executives because my heart is not in my career anymore. The stupid thing is, I marched into this company with that attitude - they knew I was downsizing my life when I left my previous company and came here.

The irony is, if someone said to me "This time next year, you'll be married to a control freak, barefoot and pregnant depending on your husband for an allowance and going out only when he gives you permission." (This is, of course, what men in executive levels think is what is waiting for women who don't want careers.) But my answer would have to be, to that phrophecy, "So, my life won't change then?"

The Right Stuff

All this talk today about Chuck Yeager, which of course drilled into a discussion about the difference between Yeager and Armstrong and subsequently John Glenn..which degenerated into a discussion about Jim Lovell and not remembering of Ken Mattingly's name until I hit up the IMDB.com... The result has been - I want to go visit Kennedy Space Center. A friend of mine is a teacher and I believe can get us in for free or nearly free. The weather this week has been especially fine and I just love being outdoors when the weather is this nice so I'm hoping to get this organised for this weekend if I can. I have to go to Houston soon so that puts things into some jeopardy but Houston also brings about IKEA!!!!!!

Ahem, so, I've picked up a couple new books. Both are nonfic which surprised my sister - she didn't think I got into that. But anyone, the first one is a Doris Kearns Goodwin historical biography on Abraham Lincoln's cabinet - it's called Team of Rivals. The other is Terry Jones' "Medieval Lives" which is basically a correction of the myths about life in the middle ages.

Which brings me to my next tangent - if you ask most people who their favourite Python is, they are likely to respond with John Cleese or Eric Idle. But in my mind, Terry Jones was by far the funniest of the troupe. I might be slightly partial, of course, because I met him in Chicago once and he was inclined to chat with me awhile (probably because I was the only female there..). I read a bit about him on Wikipedia that said,

"George Perry has commented that should you 'speak to him on subjects as diverse as fossil fuels, or Rupert Bear, or mercenaries in the Middle Ages or Modern China and in a moment you will find yourself hopelessly out of your depth, floored by his knowledge.' However Jones is by no means a show off, he merely has a good natured enthusiasm."

I found that slight bit of information extremely motivating - can you imagine flooring people by the depth of your knowledge? I'm one of those people who knows a little something about everything but not a lot about anything. So to imagine being someone who has not only the ability to have a sprinkling of knowledge in a variety of areas but also be an actual authority is an amazing feat. Not to mention being a writer, a comedian, actor, director, documentarian of BBC mini-series, Oxford graduate and an author. Good grief, I want to be Terry Jones!

"Oh. Mrs. Niggerbaiter's exploded! She was my best friend!"
"Oh don't be so sentimental, Mother. People explode every day."

I actually don't remember if it was Terry Jones who was in that, but it's still a hilarious sketch.

Um, back to my point..and I have one. The point is, somewhere along the way (and I'm guessing Day 2 of Kindergarten..) I gave up on education. I think - as much as I abhor the concept - I would have done very well in Montessori school. I just cannot stand structure and have always succeeded where there was very little. I will push myself so much harder than anyone would dream of pushing me but I completely dissolve when forced into a structure. I remember a class I took in High School - it was allegedly a college prep course whereby you "practiced" reading at a college level. About a couple weeks or so into it, the instructor realized I was bored out of my skull and put me on an independent study programme. I read more in that class than any other I had ever taken. I read Steinbeck, Richard Wright, Saint Exupery, Albert Camus (and thank goodness, because half of Woody Allen's essays would have flown right over my head), Thomas Hardy.. Anyway, the point is, I wish I understood how to self-motivate at the time because maybe I would have pushed harder in my education than I did.

So now I'm merely an armchair graduate, reading sensational historians like Doris Goodwin and Terry Jones but hey. It's better than Glamour, right?

Reincarnation

So I've been going around asking people if they could live the life of someone in history, who would it be? I've gotten a wide gamut of answers but none of which surprise me. Then I ask, what about fictional characters..

Even my own answers bore me - I'd like to live Abraham Lincoln's life for a bit. For a fictional character, I'd like to be Jo March from Little Women. But I got two really good answers today from the same person that made me literally laugh outloud and clap:
From History: Chuck Yeager
From Fiction: (and this is really the best..) Han Solo

Hmm, someone wants to be a space cowboy!

Time for a new look

It's a new look, but yet it's an old look. The other style sheet really annoyed me and I am feeling kinda pink!

Wake Up Dead Man

Listen to the words they'll tell you what to do
Listen over the rhythm that's confusing you
Listen to the reed in the saxophone
Listen over the hum of the radio
Listen over the sound of blades in rotation
Listen through the traffic and circulation
Listen as hope and peace try to rhyme
Listen over marching bands playing out their time.
Wake up, wake up dead man
Wake up, wake up dead man.

Jesus, were you just around the corner?
Did you think to try and warn her?
Were you working on something new?
If there's an order in all of this disorder
Is it like a tape recorder?
Can we rewind it just once more?
Wake up, wake up dead man
Wake up, wake up dead man.

Louder, Louder

I took my playlist out for a test drive today on a rather epic long bike ride. I found myself listening to one song more carefully than I ever have, thinking, "I wish this song existed when I was twenty five." I could have wrote this song. Line for line, when I was 25.

Chocolate - Snow Patrol

This could be the very minute
I'm aware I'm alive
All these places feel like home

With a name I'd never chosen
I can make my first steps
As a child of 25

This is the straw, final straw in the
Roof of my mouth as I lie to you
Just because I'm sorry doesn't mean
I didn't enjoy it at the time

You're the only thing that I love
It scares me more every day
On my knees I think clearer

Goodness I saw it coming
Or at least I'll claim I did
But in truth I'm lost for words

What have I done it's too late for that
What have become truth is nothing
Yet a simple mistake starts the hardest time
I promise I'll do anything you ask...this time

Yes, a song like that can start a pity party. U2's "Gone" came on then and the sun coming through the trees was like a beacon from the heavens but just as quickly, Frank Sinatra's "One More for the Road" turned the sunshine to moonbeams and mosquitoes into fireflies. Amazing how a soundtrack can change the shade of tears.

So anyone can get really into a deep pity party listening to songs like that all in a row. But then "Sweet Caroline" came on, then "Rotterdam" and I just thought to myself, "shit girl, you have been very lucky for some amazing experiences" and I stopped the pity party. I think whenever I feel sorry for myself, I need to listen to songs like that.

Now I have to make a decision - go to the movies and get some sushi or start working on scanning/uploading my Switzerland pictures. I might just go to the movie during the week for free popcorn night.

Maybe I'll do both.

Playlist Part III

You can find Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

32. Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt
I'm not sure if this will be a song that will stay in my playlist for the long haul since it's been relatively recently that I've been listening to James Blunt. But, the lyrics are honest, real and the vocals just as much so. "Cos I saw the end before we began. Good bye my lover, good bye my friend. You have been the one for me."

33. Sinnerman - Nina Simone
I won't lie and say I knew of this song before the Pierce Brosnan version of "The Thomas Crown Affair." The whole bowler hat scene was so cool, so exhilirating and utterly amusing. The music fit it perfectly. This song also makes me wish I knew how to play the piano

34. Daughters - John Mayer
OK, groan all you like but I can never turn this song off. I think if more men and women listened and heeded this song, life would be that much more fulfilling, pleasant and psychotherapy defunct.

35. Wooden Heart - Elvis Presley
Oh the childhood memories of dancing around our living room in Illinois to the soundtrack of G.I. Blues. I've known this song so long, I can even sing the german part from memory.

36. How Deep Is Your Love - Bee Gees
In Barrington there is a Northern Illinois institution from the 70's. I remember almost every aspect of a dining experience there, from running up into my dad's arms because I was afraid of the stuffed black bear at the entrance, to the waitresses in their mini skirts and white patent leather boots, the pizza and the menus printed on the placemats. But what I remember more than anything is the juke box by the bar that always seemed to play that song. Nothing makes me happier or more melancholy in my memories of childhood lost than that song.

37. Chocolate - Snow Patrol
Just a great pop song I can't resist listening to.

38. Gone - U2
It's so hard to come down to a few U2 songs to put on your ultimate playlist. "Gone" is a modern classic of theirs - of their post-modern work I guess. I have so many vivid images from their Popmart tour, I guess it's a feeling of soaring upwards and onwards.

39. One For My Baby - Frank Sinatra
Aside from being just a tremendous vocal, I add the imagery of Mikhael Baryshnikov's "Sinatra Suite" ballet. I suppose that's a memory in and of itself. That Sinatra Suite was one of the first things we video taped with our first VCR.

40. Lake Shore Drive - A trio I've otherwise never heard of
Despite the jokes and innuendo that Lake Shore Drive is LSD, this song is pretty evocative of my favorite roadway in the world. "Just runnin south on Lake Shore Drive, tomorrow is another day."

41. At Last - Etta James
This is a classic and I shouldn't have to justify it on my playlist in the slightest. If you have a romantic bone in your body, this song has to hit you.

42. The Scientist - Coldplay
This song is like on everyone's list. I suppose it might be Chris Martin's attempt to knock the Verve off his own pedestal of the most perfect song. But, this song comes close. I don't take cotton to the thought that Coldplay is the Air Supply of the new millenium but frankly, Air Supply were not that bad. They just suffered from dry hair.

43. Chains - Duran Duran
Ahaaa, I'm sure many of you were wondering when Duran Duran would show up in this playlist. I struggle between this and New Moon On Monday as a song I can't resist listening to. This is off of D2's reunion album and quite frankly, probably one of the best songs they ever recorded. But I might also add that it contains the worst bridge ever recorded in popular music.

44. Run - Snow Patrol
OK, here's Snow Patrol again - what can I say?? This song is their hit and when you listen to it it's obvious why. I like it in particular because when I went to their gig at HOB, it was sort of a renaissance for me to be going back to live shows and seeing new bands. I also was 10 years older than just about everyone in the audience. But I didn't care. Well, only a little.

45. Stagger Lee - Lloyd Price
Pure mindless pop from the early sixties (I think). I first heard it in the movie "Shag" and it's utterly infectious. I was overjoyed when I found it on iTunes some fifteen years after I first heard it.

46. Galileo - Indigo Girls
SO many memories. I recall being down at University of Illinois in the fall, singing in the car (on the aforementioned Lake Shore Drive) with Patricia, and riding my bike up and down the lakefront when I lived in Wrigleyville. Good days, full of possibilities.

47. Short Grass - Ian & Sylvia
Folk music was part of my life growing up and I just have such fond memories of being swung through the air in a polka dance, or sitting on the floor watching my dad bang this song out on teh guitar. I always feel I'm wearing one of my mom's clumsy home made nightgowns when I hear it too. It also happens to have good lyrics.

48. Speed of Sound - Coldplay
Just shoot me, I love Air Supply.

49. Beautiful Day - U2
This song never grabbed me at first, but the lyrics are impossible to ignore and I have them inscribed on my desk:
See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
See the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colours came out
Incidentally, how true is that last line in relation to Katrina? Less important, three lyrics actually hit me like a ton of bricks because I wrote three short related stories - one that took place over a Japanese fishing harbor (see the tuna fleets..), one took place in Marrakech (bedouin fires at night) and one of a bird attacking in the Amazon (bird with alef in her mouth).

50. Storm in Africa - Enya
There are places we've never been too, but we have mental postcards and landscapes in our mind that stretch deeply into what I call "fake memories." They are daydreams and vignettes of places we've actually been that might be a token of the real thing. It's always been my dream to be out on the African Savannah, wide open space that even your spirit cannot fill up with all its beauty and meaning. To walk in the grasses, water nearby, storm heads filling up the horizon and a shelter behind you - that's my dream of Storms in Africa. Be overwhelmed by nature, and sheltered by it.


That's it for now, I reckon. But there is more coming. Phew.

My Playlist Part 2

The Playlist Continues!

For Part 1 of my play list click here.

16. How To Be Dead - Snow Patrol
I just love the lyrics - though it reminds me of no one in particular, it's anthematic of the conflicts I've had with people I've loved who've had destructive vices and addictions - of material, emotion and substance. "Dr. Jeckyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride."

17. Lawdy, Miss Clawdy - Elvis Presley
Everyone needs Elvis on their playlist! The version I love is from his Comeback concert because it sounds as disorganized and real as any jam session. The song is mediocre but in my mind, this is a shredding, raw true rock vocal. I'm listening to it now and can literally feel hip shakin and a curl on my lip.....

18. Rotterdam (or anywhere) - The Beautiful South
No other song evokes the feeling of being on the Continent for me more than this song. I first heard it cuddled up in a British Airways sleeper seat, full from an Indian dinner, taking off from Chicago heading for London, Venice and Rome. Later on, it would still be the perfect theme song to Switzlerand and Germany. As I listen to it now, I just really want to go to Amsterdam and Holland. Hmm.

19. Teardrop - Massive Attack
This song is a literal work of art. It's got some very deep running memories for me, of New York City - where I bought the single. The apartment I had in Mayfair in London. Inverness in Scotland. Tea, coffee, Thai food, persil detergent and ropa vieja on the floor.

20. Across the Universe - The Beatles
Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup They slither while they pass They slip away across the universe Pools of sorrow waves of joy are drifting thorough my open mind Possessing and caressing me.. Jai guru deva om..Nothing's gonna change my world...Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes..They call me on and on across the universe..Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box they tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe..Jai guru deva om..Nothing's gonna change my world ..Sounds of laughter shades of life are ringing through my open ears inciting and inviting me..Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns..It calls me on and on across the universe.. Jai guru deva om.. Nothing's gonna change my world.
/'nuff said.

21. Lonely Town - Frank Sinatra
There are songs far more meaningful to me in Frank's repertoire but this song captivates me more than any other at this time in my life. It's got a beautiful arrangement and melancholy lyrics that you can't get away from.

22. Clocks - Coldplay
Be cynical and say it's over played. The piano on this is classic.

23. Twist of Fate - Olivia Newton John
Oh, how many songs can transport you to a single 3 minutes of your life in sixth grade? Oh where are you Seven, Tiger, Tigger, Nichol and Nikki? Can Girls Just Have Fun eating strawberry cake and .99 cent pizzas at an all night sleep over? Satin, bubble letters, balloons, Weird Al, Oh Ricky, the beach, sand fleas and Surf Rats. And some of us secretly liked Def Leppard and U2.

24. 1985 - Bowling for Soup
The Eighties are always carictured but always slightly inaccurate. This song nails the mid-80's, no question. "She was gonna be an actress, she was going to be star, she was going to shake her ass on the hood of Whitesnake's car."

25. Breathing - Emma Bunton
For some reason every song that comes out of the Spice Girls or one of them reminds me of Spain. Though I bought Emma Bunton's CD for "The Crickets Sing for Anamaria" this song has pulled ahead as my favorite. I love it because in the lyrics it's the contradiction between fantasy and reality. It sounds like a harmless song, but owch!

26. King of Pain - The Police
This is just a great song from the 80's. It also reminds me of being stranded at Stonehenge (as does Fields of Gold). As you can see from this picture of Stonehenge, it's one of the suckiest places of ordinary locations imaginable to be stranded. I say ordinary because I presume being stranded on Easter Island or somewhere in the middle of Baffin Bay is less visited by people who don't make firm plans to get out.

27. Here With Me - Dido
Beautiful, haunting song and Dido's first hit. I can never pass this song by. It reminds me of violet aromatherapy oil and Rich's apartment in NYC, and just being in the comfort of a good friend when hurt and crushed.

28. Desert Rose - Sting
I've always had a fascination with Morocco, even having been there it's still a place I'd love and fear to explore more. Tangier, however, I've had enough of.

29. Cool - Gwen Stefani
I very much have someone in mind when I hear this song. We failed to acheive this but maybe someday. It was too important to lose forever.

30. One - U2 with Brian Eno
A very specific version of this song is the one I love and cannot bypass. It was recorded with a full orchestra in Modena Italy. This is one of those near perfect songs and with this arrangment, it's irresistable. "Do you hear me coming, love? D'you hear me call? Hear me knocking, knocking at your door. Do y'hear me coming love? Hear me call? Feel me scratching, will you make me crawl?"

31. Perfidia - Glenn Miller Orchestra
Oh this reminds me of my sister, pure and simple!

Oh yes, there is more but I have to quit for now. Will continue anon.

My Playlist Part I

This post is going to be HUGE. It will take me days, nay weeks to probably complete. Or maybe not, but we'll see.

iTunes, for those of you living in a cave, is a bit of software to store Mp3's or music files if that suits your technobabble better. You can download music for a fee off of iTunes or you can copy your own CD's and create little things called "Playlists" which is exactly what it sounds like: a playlist of music you want grouped together. All this then can be transfered to your Mp3 player - ideally an iPod of some kind.

I was perusing some of the Celebrity Playlists and to my non-shock, the celebrity whose playlist i liked the best was Sarah MacLachlan. The most common artists in the playlists, ironically, were ColdPlay and U2. Anyway, so I decided to take the 3.6GB of music (that's 946 songs taking up 3 days of my life should I listen straight through) and create my own playlist.

Here it is - my 3.1 hours of perfect music (that I've up and down loaded anyway), in the order the iTunes shuffled it:

1. Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve
I think this might be one of the most perfect songs ever. It puts me into a trance as soon as I hear it a and I can never, ever tnd the first image that pops in my mind are 25,000 heads bobbing at Montreal's Olympic Stadium. It's a bloody fantastic song.

2. Viva Forever - The Spice Girls
I can't resist this song either - it harkens memories of driving down Spanish highways in Jamon The Neon, through the parched Andalucian countryside, el Toro's perched on the hilltops, crystal clear nights with starry skies and Casa de Carmona. Some trips change your life. This one did and this song reminds me that change is always possible.

3. Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
This is one of those You Had To Be There moments, and there's probably only about seven people in the world who were there. So I'll just say this: Chicago's Ritz Carlton Hotel, Karaoke, Cowboy Hats, Bono defers a spotlight, The Edge and a Midnight Serenade. Good times never, ever seemed so good.

4. The Only Living Boy In New York - Simon & Garfunkel
This is just one of those songs that are great to listen to driving down an American interstate at dusk, windows rolled down and a bit of dust rolling in.

5. Sex Bomb - Tom Jones & Mousse T
Right, talk about hard to explain. Is this not the ultimate Eurotrash song? This song brings back vivid memories of Interlaken (Switzerland), sitting in a parking lot in a Volkswagen Passat and staring at the Blaupunkt radio thinking, "Do the Swiss really LIKE this song?" This song was THE anthem of that trip to Switzerland. Gruezie shout out to Lil Dude & The Kid on this one.

6. Wires - Athlete
This is is just a beautiful song about the lead singer's baby who was born with complications and had to stay in the hospital. I guess I feel an affinity to it since I was a newborn with complications myself. It reminds me of the stories my dad and grandmother tell me.

7. Take A Picture - Filter
Though the official song of Tuscany 2K (a trip of sixteen brainiacs to the Italian Countryside) was "Hotel California", this song actually creates in my memory a scrapbook of our rented villa - Podere Ripucce. I see everyone in a grand blur of snapshots - Sage Lili, Viceroy Tamara, Magistrate Neil, Dame Jordan, Sarah The Kid, Sultan Mike, Farm Boy Matt, Count Adam, Maestro Roars, Duchess Samantha, Lady Mary Ellen, Sheriff Joe, Sorceress Julie, Marquis Mark (hahaha), HRH Raj and yours truly, Principessa.

8. Life In A Northern Town - The Dream Academy
Though the Northern Town in this song is somewhere in northern England, it brings to life my own northern town, Johnsburg Illinois. Images of snow on elm and hickory trees, frozen ponds and stalks of broken corn and a Metra train steaming by - those are my images of Life in A Northern Town.

9. The Mummers Dance - Loreena McKennitt
This song makes me want to learn bellydancing. But really, it's a song that inspires me to dream of exotic places I've been and dream of going to.

10. Why - Annie Lennox
This is one of the most vulnerable, naked vocals by a female rock singer ever. Annie Lennox is just an amazing singer and this song is the whisper so many women hear in the back of their head.

11. Street Spirit (Fade Out) - Radiohead
For such intensely personal reasons this song is on my list. But it's a beautiful, intelligent, fragile song that's worth knowing and hearing. The lyrics are worth reading, evocative without the music.

12. Extreme Ways - Moby
Aside from my love of Moby and Matt Damon - of which the movie The Bourne Identity brought together - this song evokes images of driving on the Kennedy Expressway in Chicago, riding my bike through the swamps, or even sitting at a traffic light outside of Downtown Disney. This song is just the bomb.

13. Chocolate - Snow Patrol
Snow Patrol is quickly becoming one of my favourite bands of recent days. In fact, I was more interested in seeing them in Dublin than U2. This song is just really good and unfortunately reminds me excessively of the intersection of Celebration Place and US 192. Wish I knew why.

14. New Slang - The Shins
In the movie, Garden State, Natalie Portman says this song will change your life. Not quite but it's one of those songs you imagine playing somewhere all the time and you just pick up on it for a minute before skating along with your life. It's a great song for a misfit.

15. Baby It's Cold Outside! - Dean Martin
Perfect for cocoa, a roaring fire and twinkle lights. And well, maybe just a cigarette more! ;-)

A High Toned & Fancy To Do

It's here! It's here! It's here!

The trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is on Yahoo Movies! Whoo hoo!
I can't believe we have to wait until July to see it. I so rarely enjoy going to movies when the big premiere hits but I don't see how I can wait an extra 24 hours to see it. I didn't see Sith or Goblet of Fire for days and days after the wide release (when I used to go opening day for all their predecessors) because invariably I'd get seated near someone who thinks their play by play is far more imaginative and enlightening than anything the cast or director might have to say and portray. After the long queues and hype, it makes one a bit more irritable due to heightened expectations I guess. But how, how can I resist, savvy?

I'm working from home again today. Despite my chipper attitude, I'm actually quite miserable at the moment. I have back and shoulder pain which I think is a symptom of being sick. I'm hoping I'm literally one long nap away from feeling better.

Work is being wonderfully flexible with me but I think they'd rather have me at home than looking at my grimacing face. Yesterday I was in a bad mood and had to go through a political nightmare. One of the consultants they want to stick me with is a complete social freak and I can't actually stand working with him. So we had a meeting about all the things he's said to me and done that's created this negative situation. It was hard because I felt like I was insulting G's first born son but I also know I can't survive this project with a consultant who is demeaning and incapable of communicating in a non-offensive manner.

The irony that was pointed out to me is that M is utterly offensive and I get along with him just fine. It's actually not ironic at all, because M developed a rapport with me before he got "offensive." We've often been compared as a crotchety old married couple because we're always nagging each other about something. I know what he's going to order off the menu and he starts yelling at me before I start to complain about something. But again, it's all about developing a relationship with someone before you start to become a jerk to them.

Anyway, I'm tired of sitting up now so I'm off to lay down with a tab of tylenol for a wee while.

A Juxtaposition of What Is Important

On Oprah today, they revisted a story they had several years ago that moved me deeply. It was about a Fistula Hospital in Ethiopia. The hospital essentially is a medical facility that is completely run on donations that surgically corrects fistulas in young girls who develop them after going through days of childbirth at a young age (9 years old, 12 years old, 14...). They are ostracized from society and their families due to the odor of feces and urine that they cannot contain.

The story not only shared the miracle that is the hospital but also of a simple American housewife who coordinated with many others the making of bracelets to give to the patients. That seems like a meager contribution but when you consider what shunning, shame and even being locked up like an unwanted dog in a dirt shed - imagine what a bracelet from a woman in another land over seas can mean to you?

The story is inspiring not only for the women who have the courage to seek help to correct this problem but the incredible selflessness of the medical volunteers who make this possible. In a society like America, we cannot imagine being fourteen and living through what these girls have had to endure. As adult Americans, can we imagine what it's like to give your life over to not saving lives but "merely" improving the dignity of a young girl?

Sometimes I wonder, because in the midst of this miracle of courage and mercy, a commercial for BJ's Warehouse Club came on and depicted a woman staring at a chocolate fondue fountain and succumbing to the tempatation and starts licking the fountain of chocolate.

There are women in this world leaking urine and sleeping in their own feces because they were raped or forced to marry at 10 years of age. Exactly what do we, as Americans, have to complain about when we have Chocolate Fondue Fountains at our disposal for $49.95.

$49.95 which is, incidentally, a half years pay in Ethiopia. That's a US equivalent of $15,000.

Just something to think about this Christmas. The Raclette Grill seems less neccessary right now.

Pain in the arse

My back, shoulder and neck are killing me. I stayed home from work yesterday to rest up and work minimally.

Today I'm still in pain but will be heading off to the office anyway. Not much to say except, Owch.