Mind The Gap

OMG, there's this hilarious website that logs what is overheard on the London underground, with classic quotes that make you laugh utterly outloud. This is my favourite:

• Of course it's not Halal. It's a fucking pork chop.

:"-D I can just hear that on the Tube. Ahh, I miss London! Here are a few more gems:

• I think you'll find that everything you've ever done is overrated and rubbish and you're going to die in a piss-filled ditch.
• Indian people always eat Indian food and they don't explode.
• I'm not posh, I've just had a decent education.
• Poor little Caleb. He keeps falling into holes. Very accident prone.
• Mummy, if there was a crash and I rescued you, would you say thank you?
• I don't want to hear another sob story about a man with no head.
• Queensway is closed. It's not terrorists... they are re-painting it.
• I heard your fart on the stairs. I bet it launched you up them.

And in other British curiousities...this is what I call keeping a stiff upper lip:

(from Wikipedia's entry on the London Underground)

The London Underground has an excellent passenger safety record. Suicides are nonetheless common, at roughly one successful attempt per week across the network, though it is estimated that there are three attempts for each fatality. To help prevent death, most deep tube stations have pits between the tracks at platforms; known as a 'suicide pit', their purpose is to let a body fall safely under the tracks and away from the path of an oncoming train. They were not part of the original construction, and had to be dug out later when the suicide problem became apparent. Delays resulting from a person jumping in front of the train as it pulls into a station are announced as "passenger action" or "a person under a train", but are referred to by staff as a "one under".

Unfortunately, during my tenure in London, I have to testify that the frequent suicide attempts seem to be largely true, though I'm surprised by their assertion that they are weekly. But I had no idea about the pits. The most gruesome thing I recall hearing happening in the Tube was a teenage boy who had been missing for quite some time. They found his beaten body in a air shaft in I think the posh Knightsbridge station.

Ok this is a morbid post.