Thanks be to the Internet

It's too early to be this ticked off! I have been scouring my house for my copy of Paul Bowles' "The Sheltering Sky" and I cannot locate it. Undoubtedly I loaned it to some no-account and it's forever gone. Grrrrrrrrrr. But thanks to the internet, I found the excerpt I wanted to read so all ended well

Last night I had a dream about one of the consultants that I cannot stand, where he sat at the boardroom table and cried because he said he's misunderstood. In the dream, I started to feel sorry for him. Then I woke up and thought about emailing M, L and K and asking if any of them have a bone saw so we can cut my skull open on Monday and let rats claw my brains out over six or eight weeks. Because I would rather go through that than have a heart to heart with this arrogant baby consultant.

My relationship with consultants and Big Five auditors has been very enlightening this year. Before you tell them that you served in the Big Five..er, I think it's still five(Andersen/Accenture, KPMG/BearingPoint, PWC, Deloitte, Ernst & Young..Yep that's five though technicalyl seven..). Umm, what was I saying? Oh, so you meet an auditor or consultant and you get one of two initial behaviors. One of arrogance (some firms breed that in their staff) or one of "Yes Master, You're The Client." The latter is usually quiet, reserved and personality-less. But when you casually mention that you're from the brotherhood, suddenly there's an entire shift in personality. It's much more casual yet cautious.

It's casual because you 'get' each other and the lifestyle, the pressure and you're on the same playing field more or less because generally speaking, the big firms don't hire socially unacceptable, inarticulate people who are ridiculously stupid. It's sort of the Harvard of the finance and business world if you will. The problem with the ones who show up with a big plate of Arrogance is they have to eat crow (and chickens, ostriches, turkeys and any mockingbirds they can find) when they realize they are talking to a peer.

Yesterday was a great example. I had to spend half the day with an auditor who was the "yes Master" sort until he asked me how long I'd been here and where I came from. So, then he developed a personality and hence a rapport. But, the consultant that I am willing to donate my brains to rats for, he was on the arrogance side. M is a hydbrid of the two. He started off as magnificently boring (where I wouldn't notice if a rat ate my brain) but now is arrogant and cocky to no end. But it doesn't bother me because he deserves to be. He talks to me sometimes in a manner where I'll jokingly say, "Excuse me, I'm the f-ing client!" and he'll just cackle and laugh and say, "Don't be ridiculous, you're still a consultant and you know it."

Oh, have I gotten so dull that I'm blogging about auditors and IT consultants?