From our Correspondent in the Field, I received word this week that
another idiot case involving a Floridiot has surface in the national media. Apparently a principal of (yes, a
principal) of a middle school in Tampa purchased crack from an undercover officer. But that's not the story. In placing the order, he requested it to be delivered to his place of work. Which, naturally, is...the middle school.
Yesterday I had an interesting encounter with a tourist in the Target parking lot. I could make this a long drawn out affair to recount in detail but... well, why not.
I purchased, yesterday, a set of wire cubes and a footlocker of sorts. When I got to my car, I realized the back was full of coats that need to be re-buttoned at the tailor's so I had to do some maneuvering to get my clunky purchases in. A few minutes into this ordeal, I noticed that there was another vehicle idling nearby - waiting for my parking spot. I thought I ought to hurry up at first but then I noticed that kiddie-corner from me was another parking space. Let me illustrate and then I shall explain.
As you can see from this illustration*, the open parking space was technically closer to the doors of the store (the dotted line plots out the actual walking distance). My parking space - the "Potential" parking space appeared closer because it was one slot closer to the building itself.
This guy - ever so attractive in his navy blue oversized wife beater, black salt & pepper hair on his very, very pale white chest and unpleasantly plump physique was actually waiting for a perceived "better" spot. Praps he could have used a bit of sun and a walk but who am I to judge?
So what did I do? I took my sweet time. I worked on my trunk, then I decided to apply some Armor All love on my dashboard. I plugged in my iPod to the transmitter, checked email on the 'Berry.. Eventually traffic came behind him so he moved and drove AROUND the set of parking spaces as diagrammed on the left handside of my illustration and re-queued himself AGAIN waiting for me. The traffic that had piled up was trying to exit up to the store and to the right so they did not use the open parking spaces.
By the time I left, he pulled into my spot.
AIGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. What is WRONG with people?!?!!
On a happier note - the part of the Oprah special with Sidney Poitier that I forgot to explicitly mention but was THE best part was Jamie Foxx got on a grand piano - on the stage where Sidney received his Oscar years and years and years past - and sang to him, "Amen" from Lilies of the Field. Beautiful. Just beautiful. I burned it onto DVD.
*Yes, I know this begs the obvious question: "where does she find the time to do this crap?" The answer is I'm a quick hand with Visio and it amuses me. So nerr.
Labels: Floridiot, Oscars
