Trout & Eternal Salvation

What a few days... I've been facilitating meetings all day, all week long. I am in constant incessant demand the entire day (oh my precious ego!), I can't even have lunch in peace without hearing my name chirped. I got a lot of good feedback, very positive remarks about the job we're doing. Despite the fact that I often hear the negative side from my own "leadership", I know the things that they love about our team is the open ears and dialogue that was fostered under K's guidance and my carrying that standard onward.

In more complaints, my hamstring is so bad and aggravated from standing all day long that I occasionally lose feeling in my toes. I facilitated today through a major migraine headache. I had to wear a microphone and my big fleecy NASA jacket (which is now too big) to get through the day but everyone was supportive - even Matt 2.0 who took over the podium as I got very worn out around 3:30 from fighting the hamstring and migraine..Don't I sound like Scottie Pippen?? He was actually quite decent today, for a change (Matt, not Scottie). We played a practical joke together on someone with excellent results but of course - that's for the kids. The private time is still very strained.

There are still rumors that I'm pregnant with his child..and on that, note, I've actually lost another 6lbs since I last blogged about the new exercise, dance and diet regime. I don't know much about any inches I've lost since I started measuring only recently. In the time that I have measured it's been roughly a half inch in the spots I've measured. Most of my clothes are getting to be too big now, a couple things I outright can't wear anymore. A coat I had in London (from the infamous leaning against wet paint incident on Oxford Street) that was too tight even back then now fits quite nicely. I'm very happy about everything going the right direction. It's enough now that I won't buy any new clothes or if I do it will be more high quality pieces that I can have altered once I am at my reasonable goal.

In other news, I found out some disappointing news about someone I have cared about this week. I can't and won't say too much about it, but, it's funny how quickly someone you once admired can suddenly be someone you can't even be mad or disappointed in them, you just end up feeling deeply sorry for them. And maybe even laughing at yourself a bit for having once thought upon them with integrity.

The situation reminds me of one of my favorite movies, A River Runs Through It and some of the memorable lines from the movie (and the book!). This is just a small collage of quotes, indicative of my thoughts on this person and the pensive quality of this movie.

Why is it the people who need the most help... won't take it?

And I knew just as surely, just as clearly, that life is not a work of art, and that the moment could not last.

My candle burns at both ends; it will not last the night. But ah my foes, and oh my friends - it gives a lovely light.

Paul: Well, I thought we were supposed to help him.
Norman: How the hell do you help that son of a bitch?
Paul: By taking him fishing.
Norman: He doesn't like fishing. He doesn't like Montana and he sure as hell doesn't like me.
Paul: Well, maybe what he likes is somebody trying to help him.