I, Matt Damon.

Last night I watched an utterly fantastic, haunting movie called "Match Point." It's a Woody Allen film - wait! don't run away!! - that shows absolutely no signs of being a Woody Allen film. Well, unless you count the way he shoots indoor scenes and ordinary moments. But, it was such a good movie that absolutely resonates. Unlike every other movie of his, it takes place in London and ponders some basic philosophies of the meaning of life and the ramifications of one's actions. Hardly new territory for Woody but without him in it and signs of his neurotic and distinctive footprint it takes on a whole new perspective.

Here's my quote of the day then:

It would be fitting if I were apprehended... and punished. At least there would be some small sign of justice - some small measure of hope for the possibility of meaning.

It fits my mood today because I was able to apprehend and punish...myself. No, this isn't some sick form of self-flagulation.

As my friends know, over the summer I let a lot of things trample roughshod over my life. If I can take the some of the Match Point cliches, I sort of let myself get hit in the head by every serve. But I've stopped doing that quite awhile ago and took care of a lot of things that I was frankly scared to do. It takes a helluva lot of work to overcome months and years of issues, bad behavior and mistakes and turn your life back into yours. I made a bargain with myself - I let myself "have" something in exchange for a price. That price was to not cheapen myself or my life. I got huge wake up call this week that I have not been fulfilling my end of the bargain - to never let anyone treat me badly or carelessly ever again. I've let it happen and it's never going to make me happy.

OK, the reality is - this Jimmy Kimmel snippet is what really did it! This is sort of a tongue in cheek template for what I put myself through: I get knocked down over and over again and then finally...the Matt Damon in me comes out ;-)

Watch and learn, my friends!