You're Going To Make It After All!

Ok, before I get started on THIS day's rant..which one do you think is more "Me"?

Or

Like several movements of a symphony finally coming together, all the pieces and parts of what I've been saying the past few days have somehow melded together. Lets recap:

1. I need a vacation

2. My job is stagnant/I'm not challenged

3. I want to go to the beach

4. I love Pirates of the Caribbean

5. I used to be interesting and have things to talk about

6. I feel paralyzed in many areas of my life

Ok..HELLO, HELLO..HOLA!!!

Am I at a place called Vertigo? (sorry, had to squeeze in a U2 lyric reference in there)

No, I'm not at Vertigo. I am OVERWHELMED

Honestly, what kind of Laura Petrie/Mary Richards (I watch too much TVLand) incarnate do I think I am?! There is a DAMN GOOD REASON that Mary Tyler Moore was cast into two distinctly different shows at different times. Why on earth do I think I'm capable of being a funny, cute (or what passes for cute), supportive, oh-Rob! kind of woman whose needs are there only for comic relief and then be a woman in a male dominated field being top of my game, relevant, witty and smart all in the same day? Sometimes even in the same moment. Not even Hollywood and Carl Reiner could pull a story like that off.

As it turns out, I only have control over one of those things and it's the place I always turn to every single stinking time - my career. That I know how to do. I know how to pull myself up by my A-Line skirt and walk in and be that woman. That I know how to do. I'm nicht so gut at the Laura Petrie thing. That said, I will admit with every ounce of sincerity that, whether I'm Laura Petrie or Mary Richards, I make my own choices. Including not making a choice.

The fact of the matter is, I'm having a VERY hard time finding balance - as many women do - between the conflicting identities our males bosses and male lovers expect from us.

I need a break, I need to spend a little time being, frankly, a bitch.

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well it’s you girl, and you should know it

With each glance and every little movement you show it
Love is all around, no need to waste it

You can have a town, why don’t you take it

You’re gonna make it after all !

How will you make it on your own?

This world is awfully big, girl this time you’re all alone

But it’s time you started living

It’s time you let someone else do some giving

Love is all around, no need to waste it

You can have a town, why don’t you take it

You’re gonna make it after all!