Rolling River Shores of Changes

I wanted to find some quotes of wisdom on change because I finally feel I'm at the apex of a very big change in my life. It's tremendously scary and when you make a change like this, can feel very lonely because you don't know what you can and can't take with you. I looked for some quotes via google to help frame how I feel and I was surprised at the author of a few I liked the most.

The author of the quotes is Anais Nin. If you know who she is then you shan't judge me! If you don't...well, don't judge me. I've always thought she was a fantastic, evocative writer. While known for her more sordid writing, I think she had a very sensual gift to understand human emotions and drives - of the dark experiences a person is willing to bring themselves to, to the most superficial.

So what has changed over the past several weeks? I've put a limit on what I will let work do to me. I've admitted some things about my behavior and conduct in the past that affected my life and others. I've accepted the truth of some relationships in my present and past. I am motivated, getting help for mind, body, spirit.. I started with a personal trainer because I'm so tired of my body being weak and a vessel for self-pity - and that has done me a world of good. I'm even taking belly dancing/middle eastern dance with some friends of mine. These are all very good, very big changes.

The decision to change is probably the toughest part. But it takes just as much strength to act on that decision and incorporate it in your life. I guess I feel that I'm just at that point on a rollercoaster ride where I'm at the top and scared of the drop. But the drop is going to be the most fun, right?

This first quote I relate to, in particular for the past six or so months. I found myself too much in denial to accept what I was accepting. I decided my life was good enough and I just stopped. But it became an absolute type of death. I just..ceased.
Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.

This quote is the inevitable result of the previous. And it's where I'm at right this very moment.
There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

And this is my future..but it's also my past. I thought time healed all wounds, but find they don't heal until I change and learn and move on.
They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

This might be the scariest and most exciting time of my life. I hope I never forget what I've felt because to lose the gift of wanting to change would waste all I've done to make it this far.